The Smallwood Armadillo
Recently, armadillo as medicine was introduced to me when I pulled the card from an oracle deck that I use for guidance. Armadillo wears its armor on its back, its medicine is actually part of its body. Its boundaries of safety are a part of its total being. This animal teaches us about being mindful of setting our own boundaries and that when that is done consciously it creates a sense of personal freedom. Armadillos are very good about adapting their behavior and actions based on what is happening moment to moment. Their outer appearance may stay the same but their inner process is constantly evolving. And, that ultimately our deepest wisdom comes from the deepest part of our own bodies. As I was reading about Armadillo medicine I couldn’t help being reminded of my first encounter with this wise armored animal.
When I was a little girl my parents went on a second honeymoon to Miami. Honestly, it was more accurately a first for them. My father was in the army when they got married and was deployed to Japan not long after. And, then the next 20 years were filled with building a life together that included raising nine children. I still remember how young and excited they looked as they waved goodbye. By the time they came home they were clearly still riding high on the beauty and allure of the state of Florida. Their excitement was palpable as they sat us all down a few days later to share their decision that we were moving to Florida.
The following summer we sold our big home on Long Island and began the journey to our new home. Of course, not everyone was thrilled with this news but, I found myself excited at the thought. Of course, that might have something to do with the fact that I was about to turn eight and pretty much everything excited me at that age.
We bought tents and camping gear and set off for the adventure of a lifetime. Despite many obstacles and mishaps along the way we finally made it to Florida three weeks later. Once there we spent another couple of weeks making our way down to Miami. My parents wanted to share the beauty of the place that had inspired them to make this crazy decision.
The plan was to eventually land on the west coast in a town called New Port Ritchie. Of course, once again fate stepped in, in the form of my mother becoming quite ill and, we ended landing in a small town on the southeast coast called Fort Pierce.
Before landing at our final destination we spent a couple of weeks at a motel on the beach, then we followed that up with two weeks in a campground surrounded by a swampy, alligator, and moccasin-infested water. When my mother got sick camping in the intense summer heat we moved our big group to “The Smallwood Hotel”.
The Smallwood was owned by a local family that was friendly and very open to our large group. And, that was when I met Beth Veller. She was the motel owner’s youngest daughter and we became best friends within hours of our arrival.
Beth introduced me to a whole new world. Every day was a new adventure for the two of us. We would be gone from dawn till dusk exploring the exciting world of the extensive grounds of the hotel.
One day as we sat under the gigantic orange tree that sat on the corner of two connecting walkways I saw a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye. As I turned my head my eyes widened at what they beheld. Staring back at me was the strangest looking creature I had ever seen. As I sat there spellbound the creature slowly picked up the fallen fruit under the tree and began to eat it slowly. I turned to Beth with a look of pure delight-filled disbelief, only to have her say, “Oh, that’s only an armadillo. We get one back here every once in a while”. Despite Beth’s flippant words I was convinced that this was the beginning of a powerful new friendship.
I turned back to the creature amazed at its strange-looking appearance. It almost looked like a small knight from some long-forgotten English battlefield. Completely covered by what appeared to be steel armor, it moved with a grace and freedom that seemed almost mystical. Its small childlike face stared unblinking at us while eating the orange very slowly. His small hands tore the orange with little effort. As he finished the orange our eyes held each other in some otherworldly grip. I felt as though something greater than myself was pulling me towards his small body. But, as I moved towards him he somehow sensed my intent and ran away in a fast waddle-like run and disappeared. It was at that moment that I knew that we had to catch our knight. Beth readily agreed when I told her my thoughts. And, so began our armadillo adventure.
The next morning we began working on our plans to catch our mystical friend. First we had to find the perfect box. This couldn’t be just any box, it had to be able to be hold the body of a great soldier. And, then once we caught him the plan was to make a home for him out of a large cage that Beth had in her back yard. We finally found an old but sturdy orange crate. Of course, the irony of that was just too perfect to pass up. A sturdy stick and roll of heavy string completed our cunning trap for our small knightly friend. And, of course, our lure was an orange that was nicely rounded and ripened to perfection.
The next step in our master plan was to clean up the area surrounding the tree. Even though it took two days to finish our cleaning project, neither one of us seemed to mind. As we cleared the area of over-ripened oranges and debris our conversations were filled with plans for our new friend once he was caught. By the time we finished our clean-up with an overall raking of the area our hearts were filled with anticipation of the first night of, “Operation Armadillo”.
That night after dinner we raced to the orange tree to begin our vigil. The first thing we had to do was lay our trap. The orange crate was placed perfectly under the tree with a stick holding one side up and the end of a string threaded through the end of the box.Then the rest of the string was placed just below the surface of the ground leading a path to our hiding place across the courtyard.
Beth and I took turns holding the end of the string with palms that were sweaty with anticipation. As we sat staring intently at our trap we whispered to each other about just about anything. The combined canopy of trees and building shadow gave our little secret spot an almost mystical and magical feel. The quiet that was created was reminiscent of sitting in a church.
The first few nights we saw no sign of our armored friend. But, that didn’t stop us from feeling as though we were involved with a task that was truly greater than ourselves. Our nights passed quickly under the tree because we knew that it would become worthwhile once our mission was complete. Of course, now as I look back just being together in the intimacy of our journey made it more than worthwhile. I look back on those hours under the tree with Beth as some of the most profound of my young life.
Even the days leading up to the nights passed in a blur because Beth and I had private bond that was just ours. No matter what we were doing throughout the day if one of us glanced at the other we were thinking the same thing and a private smile would pass between us. Occasionally one of our older siblings or my cousin would ask what we were up to. We would reply with a secretive look, “We’re hunting Armadillo”. The response we usually got was a laugh and a good natured pat on the head. But, we didn’t seem to mind because we both knew we would have the last laugh.
Every once in a while in the few days following there would be other kids staying at the hotel that we would include to help us on our quest. Of course, mostly it was just Beth and I living out this great fantasy together.
Finally, after many nights of sitting under the tree talking in hushed tones, our brave new friend came into view across the walkway leading into the canopy of trees we were under. We instantly fell silent, exchanging knowing excited glances.
Our brave soldier slowly made his way to the orange placed perfectly under the orange crate. Every couple of steps he would stop and look around as if he sensed that this was too easy to be anything but an ambush. Finally, he reached for the orange, while another little trembling hand was holding the end of the string.
My heart seemed to beating out of my chest as I stared at that little hand reaching for the orange. But, just when the small creature grabbed the orange, the entire sky lit up with lightning and rain started pouring through the cover of branches over our heads. Three little bodies jumped with the sudden start of the summer storm. And, then as Beth dropped her grip on the string, the armadillo grabbed his dinner and ran off into the night.
As Beth and I watched him scurry off into the woods with rain soaking our small bodies, we realized that tonight would not be the night of success we had hoped it would be. We both ran back to our rooms safe in the knowledge that tomorrow would bring another chance to catch our small armored friend.
The next night was a Friday, and the small hotel was completely booked. Beth and I spent our day playing with some other children that were staying for the weekend. The pool was packed with people most of the day. It seemed as though everybody was excited at the prospect of a sunny weekend. And, as the day turned into the night my anticipation of the coming evening’s vigil seemed to build greater with each hour.
After dinner, Beth and I met under the tree once again. We picked a large, perfectly rounded orange and placed it in the center of the propped-up crate. Then we hid in our usual position behind a gardenia bush in the corner of the courtyard and waited for our friend to appear.
In the background we could hear people having fun by the pool. Being a Friday night everyone was out late. I could hear my mother’s rich, deep laugh every couple of minutes over the revelry of the star filled night. Finally in the opposite corner of the courtyard he appeared. As he slowly walked towards his intended dinner my heart started pounding. Beth and I exchanged a silent knowing glance. We somehow knew that this was our night.
As the voices from the pool seemed to fade, I could hear a rushing sound fill my ears. The hand that held the string in its trembling grip began to sweat. Everything that wasn’t in the shrouded canopy of the big orange tree seemed to fade away at what felt like a guaranteed success.
Just as our small soldier stepped completely under the crate, I yanked hard on the string. As the crate came down completely covering the animal Beth and I screamed in triumphant glee. We raced over to our wooden cage and held it down with the weight of our small excited bodies. The armadillo was pushing forcefully against the crate in a desperate attempt to regain its freedom. But, Beth and I held tight.
Finally, the movement beneath the crate seemed to stop. We stared at each other with a shared look of pride and joy. We knew we couldn’t keep him in the crate indefinitely. Beth ran to get an old rabbit cage from her house. As Beth returned with the cage our prisoner started to move under the crate again.
Beth placed the cage beside the crate with the door lying open. Our plan was to quickly lift the crate and then the armadillo would run right into the cage. My hands were shaking as I slowly began to lift the crate even as my heart felt as though it was about to beat out of my chest. I quickly lifted the edge of the crate and our small knighted friend ran exactly as planned into the rabbit cage As we moved to slam the door closed with success so clearly within our grasp something completely unexpected happened. The armadillo realizing that his freedom was coming to an abrupt end turned around and crashed his small body into the almost closed door. Beth and I jumped back in fear as his small body leaped through the open door, orange still in hand. We fell back as he ran towards the open courtyard of the hotel.
As soon as we regained our composure Beth and I immediately gave chase. The regal knight ran past the pool area with us closely following his small armored heels. The pool area grew instantly quiet as everyone, including my entire family sat stunned watching the unbelievable scene unfold.
As the three of us ran past the stunned crowd our newfound hotel friends from the afternoon jumped up to join in the chase. The small armored body was about 6 feet in front of me as I ran as fast and as hard as I could. I could feel my heart beating crazily in my chest, my breathing fast and furious. Looking ahead of him I could see the woods that marked the edge of the hotel property. He and I both knew that the woods all but guaranteed him his continued freedom. I knew this was my last chance. Just as the thought passed through my head I leaped through the air landing right behind my noble friend. My arms wrapped around his small body just as the bodies of Beth, our poolside friends and, parts of my family landed on top of me. The small body in my arms let out a high-pitched scream that startled me. I looked down and realized his small body was shaking in fear as he frantically tried to wriggle out of the restriction my arms created. And, I suddenly felt shame that I was the cause of his fear. I became aware of Beth and all the others surrounding me and partially laying on top of me. My chest felt tight and I realized how hard it was to breathe. I wiggled my body out from under their weight and looked down at my silent knightly prisoner. I immediately loosened my grip and he suddenly stopped moving in my arms. With his stillness, I became aware that his heart was beating even faster than mine. I could feel his breath on my hands as I realized my arms were now loosely cradling his body. I felt his small head lean down and rest on my hands. Suddenly, I heard that rushing sound in my ears again as the tightness in my chest disappeared. And, then I gently opened my arms. For a split second, he didn’t move, and then he began to waddle away. As Beth, myself, and the rest of our entourage watched the armadillo walked slowly to the edge of the open clearing. And, then just as he reached almost certain freedom he turned and looked straight at Beth and me with a look that seemed to include both admiration and almost ancient wisdom. We sat there stunned as he seemed to lift the orange that was still in his small hand in a gesture that could only be described as both grateful and triumphant. And, then he turned and seemed to swagger as he disappeared into the woods. Never to be seen again. A lone soldier on a mission only he truly understood.
I realize now that the Smallwood Armadillo was my first true teacher when I moved to Florida. My family was in a bit of chaotic limbo when we were staying there. My parent’s decision to move to Florida was made impulsively. The plan to land in New Port Richie was made with no research. In truth, their plan was born during their vacation and was conceived on a foundation of some level of fantasy. Once the reality of my mother’s illness unfolded the plan that was based on fantasy crumbled. And, in fact, we ended up buying a house in the very same town mostly because they didn’t know what else to do more than a real desire to live there.The journey that began that morning when I first encountered my armored friend was partially about staying and enjoying the moment.
I came to realize that I was fascinated by an animal that looked so restricted but was also so free. In retrospect, my family was feeling restricted by long term financial stress and then events that were unfolding due to my mother’s illness. Even at 8 I could feel it but didn’t have the consciousness to name it. I was craving the freedom that felt like it was slowly fading in my family if in fact it was ever there. My inclination then was to try to catch the freedom that the armadillo seemed to exude even in a body that didn’t look very free.Those weeks leading up to the last day of actually catching him was the lesson. I see now that he allowed me to cage him briefly just so I could feel how painful that would be to him and me. Now I realize that trying to cage freedom is actually impossible. After all, true freedom comes from within. And, clear boundaries are an important component of that freedom. I find myself feeling renewed gratitude for his allowing me to catch him for those brief moments. His small body against mine is was one of the most magical experiences of my lifetime.